Wings of God

I have an affinity for butterflies. Many of you that know me well, know this about me and those of you that don't know me as well, may have picked up on this.
Lots of people think butterflies are a beautiful part of nature, and they are, but for me they are much more than that.

When I was turning forty, I was feeling pretty low about my life, my purpose, the friendships I had, my health; pretty much everything. And the fact that I was still single and childless made me feel like a failure in life.
In my search for a deeper meaning to life and more happiness, I was introduced to a technique called Guided Imagery by a holistic nurse practitioner friend of mine. Using this technique I discovered my Inner Advisor, the monarch butterfly!
An Inner Advisor is a wonderful source of wisdom and intuition that lies within yourself. It sounds kind of strange, I know, but it gave me a sense of peace and helped me to find answers to questions that I had been struggling with. My friend always says, "You have all the answers yourself, you just have to be still enough to hear them!"
After I had discovered my butterfly Inner Advisor, I saw butterflies everywhere! I'm sure they were there before, but my senses to them were so heightened, that I noticed them so much more. It was and still is a very cool experience! I find myself gasping when I see one still!
About six months after being introduced to the butterfly in this new and exciting way, my sister was diagnosed with leukemia. I ended up being her perfectly matching bone marrow donor, due in part to the fact that I never had children of my own...talk about finding purpose!
Through that whole ordeal the butterfly images helped me to cope with all that was going on and literally the miracles that were taking place. You see these butterflies, for me, are not a replacement for God, but rather an extension of God; something tangible and beautiful that He created. I feel such a greater connection to God and I feel blessed to have discovered this amazing source of love!

Yesterday I went to the Green Bay Botanical Gardens and shot these amazing photos of butterflies. At one point I was surrounded by monarch butterflies and was brought to tears by the amazing power of that moment.
They are incredible creatures that represent change for so many because of the metamorphosis they go through in their short lives. Recently a friend shared this quote with me, "The Butterfly counts not months but moments, and has time enough."
We all have enough time to do all we want in life if we use our time wisely and make every moment count. Yesterday, I chose to spend my time with the butterflies and I couldn't be happier about my choice! Enjoy these wings of God!

Back in the Routine

Routine doesn't have to be boring, in fact, I am looking forward to getting into the routine of things again.
The busy part of my summer has come to an end, culminating in my family reunion that I hosted here in Green Bay. Now taking into consideration that "busy" is a relative term, I am sure that a single girls' busy-ness can be much different from someone who has a family and children. And with the start of fall and school, and sports getting into full-swing, a lot of people may just be getting into their busiest part of the year. But, not me. I am anxiously awaiting routine, getting back to the things that give me a sense of control. (Yes, I do need to be in control sometimes, or I'll go CRAZY...and keep your comments regarding this to yourself, please:)
But, like I said, routine doesn't have to be boring and I have lots of things to occupy my time that I am looking forward to.

I want to start training and getting back in shape for another 5k in October and work on losing 10 lbs. in the next three months. I want to continue blogging and journaling on a more regular basis about and for things I want to happen in my life. I want to get a better handle on my finances and focus on saving for my dream trip to Hawaii. This may include tucking a bit more away and picking up more hours at work, so being organized in all of this will be key. I want to cook more and eat healthier, and I want to read more books that help me focus on achieving my dreams.
Instead of fall being the season of things dying down and preparing for hunkering down for the winter, I am choosing to look at it like it's spring; instead, a season of renewal, trying new things and adventures. And although much of what I am doing isn't new for me and is just getting back into my routine, I am going to "up" the intensity and throw in some new twists so it's not boring.
One things I am really looking forward to is a trip to Hilton Head South Carolina in December. I am going with some friends that I have never traveled with before, so that alone is an adventure! But also, I have never been to South Carolina and I am attending a conference that is not work related, but yet deals with health and medicine, and I've never been to anything like it before either. The conference is sponsored by NICABM, The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine and is the 22ND annual Psychology of Health, Immunity, and Disease Conference.
Why you ask, am I going to this? Well, I have asked myself that same question. I guess I am looking at it as an adventure and an opportunity. I will have free time to spend sight seeing and walking the beaches of Hilton Head Island, and I find many of the topics being presented at the conference very interesting, so I might just learn something. I have come to learn to pay attention to signs along the way and something told me just to , "GO FOR IT!" After all, I just can't be sure that I won't use this knowledge somewhere down the road...you just never know!!
As far as vacations go, I feel, ideally they should create positive memories and consist of spending time with yourself, but also with people you enjoy; doing things that make you happy and feel good. On this trip I am getting all of these!

I have a little mantra I am using for the upcoming fall that came to me while watching the Packer Family Night fireworks on TV this past Saturday. It's taken from a hit song by Journey..."Don't stop believing, hold on to that feeling!"
I think if we use this phrase for any dream, goal, or even obstacles that we come across in life, it may just help push us through to the next step we need. As long as the feeling is good, and we have the belief that things can be better, we will achieve and have fun along the way! Enjoy the pics of some of my "routines" and adventures!

Gaining Momentum

Recently several of my conversations have revolved around the topic of living in the moment and not letting opportunities pass us by. I find it interesting that this topic has come up so often lately, so of course I couldn't ignore what was possibly the universe giving me a sign of what I needed in my life!

I had been searching for an inspiring topic for my blog, to tie in some beautiful sunset pictures that I had taken on the night of my birthday. And when looking at those pictures one night it hit me how amazingly fast the sun sets, in just moments it settles into the horizon. And isn't that life...passing us by so quickly when we don't take time to enjoy the beauty of each moment and experience the joy of each opportunity that is presented to us. How boring life would be if we never jumped at some chances now and then!

I took a bike ride up in Door County yesterday and as I was biking I realized that if I would have stayed home, I would have missed out on a spectacular day! I'm going to use that feeling every time I feel like staying home or think there there is something else I HAVE to get done. We only have each day once and to not make that day a good experience is a waste of a gift!
During my ride I stopped often to take pictures along the trails. At one point while I was shooting a picture of a wild flower, my bike tipped over. When I got back on my bike to continue my ride, I realized my chain had fallen off and was really stuck in the gears. I tugged and pulled at it for a little while, gradually inching the chain from the gears, while moving the pedals back and forth. In a final moment of frustration I gave a big tug and from behind me I hear, "Ah, somebodies chain fell off!" I turned and looked and there was an older man and his grandson that had stopped to check out the situation. As it turns out, 10 year old Adam fixes bike chains all the time! In less than two minutes he had my chain back on and he and his grandpa were on their way.
Several times during my bike ride I met up with Adam and his grandpa, sometimes riding along with them for a ways, watching Adam pop wheelies, while he asked me what I was taking pictures of and if my bike was ok. I just found this young boy and his grandpa to be so engaging, that I couldn't help but smile to myself and think how awesome this random act of kindness was...almost like Adam was a little guardian angel. And if I would have stayed home yesterday, I would have missed out on this moment...a moment of despair turned, precious.

I received another gift yesterday, this one a belated birthday gift. It is a casted mold of a leaf with the saying on it, "Life is a Succession of Moments. To live each one is to succeed." Whatever your moment is, watching a sunset or your child's soccer game, attending a wedding, dealing with a frustrating bike chain, or a grueling day of work, just remember to slow down and be present each minute of every moment...that is what life is all about, and that is success!

Baby Steps

Working on your dream can be difficult, exhausting(I'm pooped today), emotional, and super exciting all at the same time. I started thinking about this blog entry as my hot tub was filling at the Bed and Breakfast Inn I was staying at, a recent birthday gift to myself.
You see, it is my dream to own and operate a B&B, ideally something in the area that I live in now. It just so happens that the Astor House, where I stayed, is for sale! It's pricey, way out of my price range, but you never know. I decided to get a room there to see what the place was like and maybe, just maybe, talk to the owner a bit. Now I've stayed at several B&B's before, but I was going to this one with a whole new focus. In fact, the energy of the whole stay was different, exciting; I was looking at the whole experience in a new light. I definitely wanted to enjoy and relax, but my mission was a little different this time and I could feel that overwhelming urge to make something happen! I really had no idea if the opportunity would present itself to talk to the owner, but I was open to the possibility. I had done my research on the house and its owners by reading their website and I felt fairly comfortable bringing up the subject since they, at one point, had also been in my shoes. And then I met Mr. Robinson...he was warm and welcoming, and as I was checking in I told him that there was an ulterior motive to my stay. He was so gracious and willing to give me information, encouraging questions the entire time, that I just started spilling about my dream and that I had to start somewhere. He understood, and immediately went to his living quarters and brought me two books he thought I should read on becoming an Innkeeper. In the back of my head I knew he was trying to sell his business, but it was more than that. I felt he genuinely wanted to share his knowledge of the Bed and Breakfast business. Mr. Robinson then mentioned that occasionally they use an Innsitter. I had never heard of this before, but I liked what I was hearing! When the Innkeepers need time off they, have someone come in and run the Inn for them. Of course! This was the baby step I needed! What a perfect way to get the experience I needed and to see what Inn keeping was all about. I mostly feel that I lack the business sense for running an Inn, so this would be the perfect opportunity to see how it all works. I was loving my first few minutes of my birthday gift to myself!
The remainder of my stay was spent relaxing and enjoying the beauty of the Astor House and appreciating how good life is. I took photos in the gardens and Mr. Robinson gave me a tour of all the rooms(five themed rooms)in the Astor House-that was special!
After my soothing escape into the hot tub in my Japan themed room, with my wine, cheese, chocolate and strawberries, I settled in to read the books that had been loaned to me on Inn keeping. Most B&B's leave journals in each room for the guests to sign and this one was no different. I started to read these journals and was moved to tears by some of the entries. In fact Mr. Robinson had a journal entry from this very room. This was the first room he and his wife had stayed in at the Astor House several years ago. For me, that's what it's all about, creating a pleasant memory that makes people want to re-live it over and over again.

I don't know what other baby steps will be needed to fulfill my dream, but for now I am just going with what the universe presents me and I have come a long way in the last couple of months. This 43rd year of my life could be really exciting!
As I was leaving, Mr. Robinson gave me a giant hug and expressed that he didn't often meet someone that made him feel as comfortable as I did and that I just had a great energy about me. Sounds to me like great qualities of an Innkeeper...stay tuned-you just never know!

The Color Purple

I like things to match. Sometimes I am VERY matchy, matchy. It is something that people notice about me and it's a quality in myself that I like. I think it's a way of expressing my creativity and it's become part of who I am...and I'm ok with that.
I guess I just like color in general...color is emotion and it can create a feeling. I am one of those people who is not afraid of color and the walls in my house and the clothes in my closet are definitely NOT white!

My favorite color is pink, but I also like purple, all shades of it and all girls know that purple and pink match or "go together".
Actually, the color purple encourages creativity, so if you are trying to get those creative juices flowing, think PURPLE! Remember the book "Harold and the Purple Crayon"? He made all sorts of creative, amazing things with his purple crayon!
Purple is also calming to the mind and nerves, is uplifting and offers a sense of spirituality. Purple has always been known to be associated with royalty, and being the princess that I am, this seems fitting!

The history of purple dates back to 1856 when a man named William Henry Perkin discovered a recipe for a purple dye. The dye was made from coal tar and was named Mauveine. I assume that is where the color mauve came from.
Shades of purple are often used in stained glass, not only for it's spiritual significance, but the color violet is seen as uniting the "wisdom" of blue and the "love" of red. Leonardo da Vinci believed that the power of meditation increased ten times in purple light, as in the purple light of stained glass. Hence, one of the reasons we see purple used in windows of churches old and new, to this day.

I have quite a few varieties of purple flowers in my garden, some of which you see in these photos. Purple seemed to work well with my house color, which is a shade of yellow or gold. When I first moved into my house the porch light had a green light bulb in it...I guess the former owners were big Packer fans. I quickly changed that. :) Anyway, in doing research for this blog post I discovered that yellow and purple are complimentary colors (just ask the Vikings!), so maybe this color/matching thing is just a little instinctive in me. Hmmm, I don't know...I think I just like things to look nice!

Best Aunt Ever!!

Recent camera problems have prevented me from downloading, and therefore blogging on any new photos, so I thought I would re-visit some of my favorite old photos.

One of my favorite photo subjects have always been my neices and nephews and with 8 siblings, it seems I always have new subject matter!
Being an aunt(the best aunt ever), has been one of the most enjoyable things in my life. Mostly because I can get my fill of kids and then give them back, no strings attached! My mom always said she never knew what she laughed at until she had kids. I have mixed feelings over this statement. Makes me feel sad that she didn't have other things in her life to bring her joy, but yet I know exactly what she meant.
Kids are SUPER funny, they do and say crazy, surprising things that are Readers Digest, 'Laughter is the Best Medicine', worthy! Here are a few examples that come to mind...
During the time when car seats were becoming mandatory for all children, my niece Liz, at about age 3 or 4 was looking at a Christmas nativity scene. As she was naming everyone in the scene, she suddenly announced, "And there's baby Jesus in his car seat!" Apparently to Liz, it wasn't a manger, but a very safe and secure car seat that the baby Jesus was lying in. Liz is now engaged to be married, that would be good material to bring up at her wedding! :)
Ashlyn was once yelling at her dog Theo, when she was about 3 and told him that if he didn't get over here right now, she was going to kick his ASK! Well, at least she didn't swear; that's what she thought people were saying!
Recently Jacob was getting reprimanded for faking being sick and having to stay home from school which consequently made mom have to stay home from work. His dad asked him, "Jacob do you know what mom makes at work?" He was going for money, but very sincerely Jacob asked, "Banana bread?" How do you not start laughing in the middle of your scolding?
I'm sure these are typical of the things my mom was talking about. And I can truely see her point. I never dreamed I wouldn't have children of my own, but life doesn't always turn out how you expect, sometimes it's even better! I have the best of both worlds and I wouldn't trade that for anything.
Enjoy the photos of my "kids", they are one of the BEST parts of my life!

Goin' Hawaiian

I have to admit, the photos this time are not mine. I didn't take them, but wish I could have. Someday...
I have been longing to go to Hawaii for some time now. It's always been my version of paradise, and from what I have heard, it is. My first thoughts of a trip to Hawaii were for my honeymoon that never happened back in 1997. Long over that devastation, the thought of going to Hawaii wasn't real high on my list, knowing that there were other cheaper options for tropical vacations. Then I met my friends...they go every other year to the island of Kauai for two weeks, and once again, I was pumped up to start dreaming about a Hawaiian vacation. It wasn't until about a year ago that I actually started saving for my trip; every spare dime I have gets thrown into my Hawaii account. Right now I have about enough saved for air fare...it's a start! My plan is to go when I am 45, I'll do the math for you, that's in the year 2012.
In the mean time, I plan my trip at least a couple of times a month. I go through all the motions online; get the flights (sometimes first class, a girl's gotta dream big), the oceanfront condo, the fresh lei greeting and all the other excursions I want, and of course the convertible, that is a MUST! I do everything except hit the "pay now" button, but I am so looking forward to the day when I can actually do that! That will be a great day!
My friends leave in about a week for their 2 week vacation and I look forward to many more beautiful pictures and vivid descriptions of this paradise-like place I dream of. For now, I will be there with them in spirit and will keep dreaming and planning my trip where I will actually get to experience living "aloha". After all, isn't dreaming a form of planning and reaching your goals? I think so...Aloha!